What Am I Doing?

Over the summer, I have been attempting to find my way (author-wise) and in the midst of doing so I realized something. I can be better. Falling back on the notion of “why does nobody like my book?” first has me over-analyzing my abilities. And anyone who knows me is fully aware of my pension toward self-deprecation. Well, as a method to improve, I’ve come to the hard conclusion to truly take a look at myself.

For all the good things I’m capable of accomplishing, I get hung up on the little things no one else could possibly see and if affects my everything as a writer. I see people who have lots of fans, lots of books, opportunities opening up for them and, truthfully, I get jealous. Then I have to actually look at why. Long story short, I’ve been lazy. Those people we see and love following the careers of aren’t busy moping and whining and begging. They’re hustling and trying and having fun with the experience. Me, I’ve been rushing to popularity for no real good reason. Because I thought a good story equaled recognition.

After today, I fully plan on enjoying this part of my life. No expectations and no excuses. No more waiting for something good to come to me. I have to work for the goals I want, we all do. And the more and more I approach it with half-hearted effort and expecting it to come to me, well, that’s about the same thought as throwing a ball into the forest and complaining when it doesn’t roll back.

There’s a reason they call it chasing your dreams. Now, if you’re like me, get off your ass and start running.



 

12 thoughts on “What Am I Doing?

  1. I needed that kick in the rear myself. I actually get depressed when I don’t write…which I haven’t done much of lately. Yet I still mope around trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I even get jealous of the little guys that don’t have a huge following, but still have their books out there. Truth time, I am jealous of you, Mr. Jonas. You have fallen into my category of an author who has his shit together…or most of it anyways. lol

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  2. Kara Jorgensen

    I know the feeling. I have those moments when I wonder why no one has bought one of my books in X amount of days. It can kill your confidence, but no matter how many BUY MY BOOK messages you send out, people won’t buy it. You have to let it happen naturally and just keep writing. Nothing sells book one like book two, and so on. Plus, most authors don’t get a real following until they’ve written nearly half a dozen books.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Kara Jorgensen

        Lol xD I definitely don’t feel successful some days (a lot of days). A few of my friends write romance novels, and oh my god, those things fly off the shelves. It makes it hard to believe their statistics, but Amazon doesn’t lie.

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