Yorkshire Eco-Terrorist

Every Winter, my dog becomes an asshole. She’s cute and looking at her would fool you into thinking it’s a harmless dog. You could not be any more misled by that statement. This dog is crafty. It’s cunning. It will test your willpower. It’s like living with the Predator, adapting to the situations daily and stalking me in some invisible fashion.

What does this dog do? It has learned the art of guerrilla warfare. Not realizing that walks outside are no longer a viable option for her tiny 6lb. frame in the South Dakota environment, she waits until you are just about ready to be comfortable and whines. What she wants? I’m not even sure that she knows the answer to that. Going outside doesn’t matter, treats are only as good as the time it takes her to forget the taste. And if you think sleep is safe, try waking up to the Yorkshire Terrorist looming above your pillow, whining… for no.damn.reason.

Not to mention, the bitter cold also makes her think that going to the bathroom outside is now “optional” there are chances of finding landmines at any given corner you turn. This dog can also take “ninja-dumps.” One second she’s walking by you as you stand idly by looking in the fridge for a snack, the next there is a poo right beside your shoe and you’ll wonder if it’s been there all along…

This terrier-terrorist will carry out her vengeance most of the season and just when the weather takes a turn to get nicer, a new dog emerges. Generally, a lazier, plumper dog. Until then, the psychological terror continues.

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