Slap Yourself, You Deserve It

Do you ever take a good, long hard look at that person in the mirror? No, not when you’re getting ready or seeing if you have anything in your teeth. Just stop some time and look in the mirror with no reason or motive behind it. Now, what’s the first thing you do? If you are anything like me, you are probably assuming the role of some fashion, appearance or weight loss judge. I realized this increasingly over the past year, but I pick apart everything I see.

Quite frankly, it’s miserable and not to mention stupid. Oh, and I’m not talking about just me, this goes for anyone with the same intention. If you look in the mirror and the first thing that comes to mind isn’t happiness, then this is your slap. Here, <!@*SLAP*@!> (that’s the best I can do for you). Mind you, don’t stand in front of the mirror out of pride or vanity. That makes you a douche. Guy or girl. Don’t let your looks or build be the thing that distinguishes you.

When you look at your reflection, find the positives that make you, you. There’s no need to be a critic, you’ll most likely have people filling in that void throughout your day, silently or vocally. Why be on their side? Seriously, f%@# them.

It started as I stood in front of my mirror wondering why I am blessed with my father’s eyebrows yet my mother’s ability to grow a beard, then it hit me. Who else doesn’t like how I look? Followed by an immediate response of, who cares? My wife doesn’t, my friends don’t. Who am I trying to impress? I’m not famous. I’m not in the public spotlight. My Facebook friends? Please, I doubt that anyone could come at me with anything that I couldn’t either shrug off or turn the mirror around and ask, “really?”

So, today, I’m lighter. I’ll slowly shed this criticizing monster that lives inside and focus on who I am and who I’m striving to become. I write, and I write pretty decent. That’s a strength that I’ll recognize when I look in the mirror next time.

Who will you see? What are you proud of doing? Think of your job. Does it make you happy? Do you see the differences you’re making? If you dig and dig and can’t find it, I hope that you know what your passion is and fulfill it in the meantime. Otherwise, you’ll be one of those people out there. You can see them all the time, the life light in their eyes barely flickering. Their self-loathing has consumed and spilled out on the people around them or whomever they encounter. They are the ones that feel life owes them something while doing nothing. They are the ones that forget to say things like, thank you, you’re welcome, I’m sorry, hello and goodbye. They are the ones that drive like the road is their own and you should bow out of their way (yes, I’m talking to the man in the red Nissan who was a dick sack on my way to work this morning. You, sir, were a giant asshole).

Point is, be the person you can look at and see the good on the inside, not necessarily what you see on the outside (although, do take a little pride in how you look. Everyday is not Wal-mart/laundry/stomach flu day. Brush your teeth, comb your hair and put on clean clothes… after you shower). If you pick, pick, pick then do me a favor and slap yourself. Make it sting at the very least. And then tell your reflection that you deserved that. Also, if you are a vain d-bag, slap yourself a couple of times with the same mantra. Only way to be slap free really is to enjoy yourself just under the point of hubris.

I wrote about this today mainly because it was on my mind. I had no pertinent words of wisdom about writing. Plus, this ranting will get buried in Facebook under about 5,000 posts showing off Halloween costumes and other stuff. So, the audience fallout will be minimal. This week’s stats are low anyhow, haha.

Hope everyone stays safe and has a great Halloween!! I’ve included red Nissan’s dickish behavior below.


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